so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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