"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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