mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize