No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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