hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
