Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Four minutes until I can fart!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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