It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
