with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
