she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
