I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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