Small penises have feelings too.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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