I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
