Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
