My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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