dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
