I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
