Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
