Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize