Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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