ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
