I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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