Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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