My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
