i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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