Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize