Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
