Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
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Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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