Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
