Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
