There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
