So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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