i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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