There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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