i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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