Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
