big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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