We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
