the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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