And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My vagina is very pro this idea
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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