Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
