it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
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Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
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woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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