I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
