I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Pappa wants mamma naked
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
