I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
