Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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