You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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