Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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