You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Congratulations! We have a period
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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