I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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