No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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