Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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