Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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