is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
