I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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