Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
