Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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