Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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