come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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