I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
