I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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